Spirituality and Sexuality
I would like to know what is the relationship between mental purity and human sexuality and what is the role of different cultures in sexuality and morality.
Here are two things, first of all, the so-called morality which means the cultural rules of a particular society, things that people have been taught right and wrong. Second is the practical level: what is what leads towards Parama Purusha (Supreme Consciousness) and what is what directs man away from it; which directs people’s steps to realize the true nature of their existence and what drowns them deeper into delusion. These are the two aspects that in some cases overlap, in others far apart.
Sexuality is associated with both practical action and psychological impact. In addition, there is a correlation between the use of sexual energy and mental awakening. It can be said that human sexuality is very varied, diverse. In the human race, sexuality has a biological function for the conservation of the species. This sexual function is based on the basic sediment of the species,
it is not cultural, it is universal and connected to the survival sediment and the survival sediment of the species. It is genetic and it is the basic pastime of all species, including the human race.
It’s the dominant pastime, so that as the population shrinks, people’s sexual drive rises. Their psychological traits in their ability to have children increase. In those cultures where there is a need to increase the population, motherhood is highly valued. Mothers who give birth to many children are respected.
In cultures or situations where the population is at its maximum and there are too many people, it can be observed that sexual drive is declining. It can also be seen that giving birth to children is hardly valued. Such cultures tend to go to war and emphasize aggression until the population declines. So this thing has to do with the species, the survival and reproduction of the species. This is one aspect.
There is another aspect and it is personal. Every person has a sexual drive and different people experience it more or less depending on many factors: cultural, biological and psychological. All of these shape a unique profile. It has been said that the outward sexual energies used for childbearing and sexual pleasure can be maintained in the body so that the same vitality is used to awaken kulakundalin (a mental power dormant at the lower end of the human spine) as a form of nourishment for this powerful mental energy when it awakens. Kulakundalin takes a lot of energy, nutrition. It is a very active and dynamic force. The mind should be well fed and fed by the ditchthrough. This is made up of lymph, the amount of which is increased by retaining semen in men, and in women it is made up of genital fluids, vital energy when pulled in instead of being used for fertilization.
This is a biological function. But there are those who would limit biological activity to many religious beliefs related to sexuality. There are many religious and cultural views. They may or may not have some basis, but they are based on people’s beliefs about sexuality. These have evolved into certain perceptions, rituals, and practices that local customs accept and the practices they prevent.
But I would say that sexuality and true spirituality are not incompatible. Sexual energy is the key to mental vitality as it is the key to body vitality. If misused, vitality decreases; physical, mental and spiritual vitality.
There are many ways it can be misused. When sexual energy is seized and not given a proper way of expression or release, an energy blockage can form which can cause certain psychological and physiological difficulties. So if sexual energy is kept inside, if abstinence is observed, there should be a constructive way of discharging life energy - constructive action in the world. This vital energy should be directed to constructive action in the world, to action that opens the mind and heart, otherwise one becomes closed and introverted sexually and psychologically. Therefore, if abstinence is practiced, one should also engage in selfless service, giving of oneself for the benefit of others. In this way, abstinence does not have a bad effect.
If a person is in active sexual intercourse, in most cultures there are certain limitations. This is for two reasons. Firstly, on human psychology and secondly, responsibility related to children. If the relationship is reciprocal, people are committed, then both parties raise children. Otherwise, women raise children alone and men take no responsibility. To prevent this, a marriage system has been created that binds a man to a woman and a child.
To this end, it is very important to emphasize marriage. If children are born into a situation where the father does not commit in any way, the mother and child are at risk. For at certain times they are very vulnerable, it is difficult for a woman to be alone, to earn a living during pregnancy and when the child is small, too difficult. The man should commit. Therefore, I recommend that sexual intercourse not be undertaken without commitment, so that no woman finds herself in that miserable situation.
This is for the well-being of the woman and the child. And for the sake of time also for the well-being of men, for it is good for them to be with a wife and a child and to commit. But many men, not in one but in many cultures, are afraid to commit. So there should be cultural rules that require a man to commit,if she has sexual intercourse with a woman, so that she takes responsibility for the child and the mother. Therefore, I think sexuality should be related to marriage and free sex should not be encouraged.
- It seems that patriarchal cultures overemphasize virginity for the reason that a woman is seen as the property of a man rather than that virginal purity is truly valued. It seems that (in our culture) to some extent virginity is not practical and sexual relationships are entered into because people study and get married much older, while others get married as early as adolescence.
That's right. But here are two aspects. First, the property value of the virginity of the bride in patriarchal society - this is, in fact, a historical fact. That is true and it describes the ill-treatment that women have experienced under the patriarchy, for they have been treated as goods that can be owned and do not have to be respected for their own sake. There are still cultures where a woman’s value in the marriage trade is determined by her virginity. This has been a practice, but the world is changing and those habits are being dropped.
Another aspect is that if people do not get married until they are almost in their thirties,
it cannot be assumed that they have ever had sex. This is the style in western culture these days and even the east is going in this direction. But I would say I don’t like this because people live in loneliness and their basic needs will not be met with this approach. This is the result of society losing its balance.
As a result, many social structures break down and people find themselves alone and on their own. Those who are healthy and strong are able to take care of themselves, but if they slip a little, they find themselves in trouble.
This is not in line with human dignity. People have evolved by living in a family, in a community, not alone as isolated groups or individuals, taking care of themselves without the support of their neighbors. The way to get married at a later age is not the result of the time required to study alone. You can study even if you are married, even if you have children. If there is enough support, you can continue your studies. There is no need to postpone marriage until a later date. But if no one is near you to help you with childcare, set up moths, and if you get married, that’s an obstacle and so getting married is delayed. It is true that many do not want children at a young age, but they do not have to have them.
They can have children later, but when they are studying and start a career, can they still be married. If someone is sometimes with one and then with another, and then a third with and there is no commitment, nothing to stabilize and still being in sex relations, it gives birth to a negative psychology where people take advantage of each other and where there is no genuine opening of the heart and soul. For if the heart and soul are open to another who does not commit, it can be very painful. This way does not satisfy human needs. One should commit before sexual openness so that a person’s vulnerability, complete surrender and love for a partner can be experienced without fear that the other will leave.
So my recommendation is that society encourages commitment in relationships and that sexuality is an integral part of that commitment, not a toy to play with. For people are not toys. May love develop between people, may they need each other and commit. So that when a person is in a sexual relationship, he has the feeling that he can give his all, not with reservation, not but at that moment, but that he can surrender to his partner just as Parama Purusha would come into his life. So that he can experience the full openness of mind and spirit with another person, without fear, without bitter disappointment. This is not part of the values of this culture and of course this should be applied to time, place and person, but this is the best approach.
I don’t think marriages should be arranged, because when one has chosen a partner in advance and two people should change together barely for hours and there is no affection between them; living like a husband and wife and having sex in this situation is also not the best situation for human development. Neither the Eastern system nor the Western system satisfies the needs of the people.
A new system must be developed. As the people of the world come closer and societies unite, a new system must be adopted that adds value to the family and the tribe and increases respect between people. Let sexuality remain within marriage.
- In Western society, the situation is such that women have sexual relations outside of marriage, or that they have the opportunity to do so because society accepts it. Does this mean that men and women cannot achieve mental purity?
In my view, the two things are unrelated. Spiritual purity is the result of following Yama and Niyama and doing sadhanaregularly, thinks of the Supreme so that the mind is purified, that it sees holiness everywhere and in all experiences. It doesn’t matter if a person is a prostitute or a virgin, it has nothing to do with mental purity. If a prostitute sees God in everything and treats all beings with love and compassion, thinking of the Most High day and night, then even though his part in life is to be a prostitute, he has spiritual purity. And if a great yogi high in the Himalayan mountains can only see the faults of others and think about them day and night, he has no mental purity, even though he has abstained from sex for many years. These two things are not related.
In fact, there are those who refrain from sexual intercourse, but whose minds are roughened due to the overdevelopment of the ditch without the proper way of unloading. The fact that one abstains more is not a sign of spiritual development. This has been the shastro(scripture) misunderstanding. Thinking supreme is the factor that brings spiritual development. In Tantra, all the desires of the mind and body are transformed, not suppressed, not pressed down, but transformed. You don’t turn lead into gold by forcing it to be other than it is.
You let it be all that it is and from the heart of its core you pull out the properties of gold and transform the substance. Likewise, you do not suppress human desires but harness them in such a way that a constant flow of thoughts develops into the Supreme, and the longings of the body and mind are transformed by acquiring knowledge of longing for the Supreme. This is the way of Tantra, not repression or restraint, but transformation.
Sexuality is a necessary biological activity for a species. There is nothing immoral or dirty in it any more than eating or drinking. But if you are a glutton and just think about how to get more and more food, it does not promote mental development. And not starving the body either. Proper understanding of the need for food, a balanced approach and thinking of the Supreme will develop a healthy body and a healthy mind so that sadhana can be done successfully. The same goes for sexuality and sexual desire as well as other desires of the body. This is Brahmacarya , seeing holiness in everything.